What can build/crumble a marriage

A bride and groom being joined together as husband and wife is certainly not a big joke here. Once they enter into one, this is where they begin building a foundation on marriage, which can either strengthen or weaken it.

A Solid Marriage

There are very essential and strong attributes that build a firm solid marriage that will last:

· True genuine love - One of the most essential aspects of a solid marriage, especially when choosing your own husband/wife. It is also important to pray to God to find you the right man/woman He wants you to spend the rest of your life with, cos He is the Divine Matchmaker.

· Loyalty - Loyalty is extremely important in marriage. Faithfulness is one of the strongest attributes that can strengthen a marriage.

· Trust - Another essential attribute to marriage. How the heck can a husband and wife trust each other when they fight all the time? Or even when they stab each other behind their backs?

· Devotion - Being devoted to family is good, but it is also important for the husband and the wife to devout their time to God. For those who have heard of the story of Ruth, she is a devoted woman. Ruth devoted her time to take of her mother-in-law Naomi, and her devotion to her never ceased as she became a devoted wife to Boaz.

· A Godly foundation - Another major aspect that makes marriage even stronger, especially with God, being the Author of marriage. A marriage without a Godly foundation, will crumble.

· Selflessness - A selfless husband/wife will devote his/her time with his/her family and God. Selflessness is one of the most powerful attributes with contribute to the sacrificial love in marriage.

A Crumbling Marriage

There are some other ones that may seem good in the eyes of man, but those are the ones that unfortunately even create a crumbling marriage, which will eventually, at worst, terminate it. These include:

· Money/Wealth— It may seem good but, it will make it worse if uncontrolled, for the love of money is the root of all evil. What is even more annoying, is when the world thinks that marriage is based on wealth and finance. Yes, you need money to provide your family food, water, clothes and all the necessary stuff, but really...money is not the answer to everything.

· Power— Having it is not a crime, but abusing it is. The most annoying part? Is when the world (more especially wealthy people) thinks that power is what makes a good marriage. It doesn't really. (See the point High Status)

· The kind of man/woman you choose -The problem with today's world is that, they like to pick for themselves and not allow the Lord to find the right man/woman for them, at the end, he/she ends up in square one again.

· High Status— One of the most common and rather costly mistakes made when choosing a husband/wife to marry. It is even happening among rich families, were they arrange weddings for their children without them even knowing, all in the name of high status and power. And that can eventually lead to a broken family. Status and power is not everything when it comes to marriage.

· Having a thought of divorce when entering in a marriage - Divorce is not and is never an option, so don't think that marriage is a toy that you can use and dump, because it is not. Jesus himself warned about divorce, as He said: "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:11-12)

· Mixing fear with respect— Husbands and wives are to respect one another, not be scared of each other.

· Lack of communication— When this happens, either they'll end up not talking to each other again, or just end up arguing all the time.

· Materialism - Another major problem with today's men and women, is that they pick their own spouses based on materialism, and materialism is another aspect that destroys marriages. Materialism includes money, gold, jewelry, porn, and all sorts.

· Gossip - Many people think that gossiping about is okay, when really it is very destructive, especially when false rumors and accusations are being spread, which can unfortunately destroy that family.

· Adultery - Unfortunately many people think that it is okay for a husband and wife to cheat on each other, when clearly it is not okay. Any form of adultery is wrong. A man cheating on his wife in anyway shape or form is wrong before God, the same thing goes with when a wife cheats on her husband. One of the ten commandments clearly says "Do not commit adultery". Jesus himself even warned about adultery, as He said: "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5: 27-28).

Many people in this century think that these attributes listed will make a "great and powerful marriage", when really, these will only destroy, causing a very bitter end to that very marriage. Never enter a marriage with the thought that you can get divorced if things don't work out. Ever. Regardless of your interpretation of the biblical passages dealing with divorce, you should make it a personal commitment to your spouse and to God that you will not consider divorce as an option. Divorce is very deathly to a marriage, which is also contributed to other minor but deadly dangers such as gossiping and materialism.

To all those who are looking to get married some day, enter the marriage with the understanding that you are making a solemn vow before God to your spouse that you will stay together until death separates you.