22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
#1 The premise of love is to understand God‘s holy will and find the true self and live as your true self.
Gen 1 can unlock the meaning of these verses for us.after God finishes creating the world,men are first created,and women are created from men's rib afterwards.Outwardly,men are stronger and more sensible,inwardly women are more exquisite and more caring.Some people even say that women are the last masterpiece of God and also they look more like God.
So as husband and wives,they have different roles in a family.Men are created to undertake more social duties and leading responsibilites,whereas women are to care more about her husband's inner need and to support and encourage her huasbatd.This is the natrual law,when we live according to this ,we can estabish a harmonious family relationship.
# 2 Only submission and sacifice can bring true happiness.
Women and men have different sparkling qualities,and this does not mean that God loves men more or love women more.For example, in life,we can often hear this complaint, he/she is much wiser than me,so God loves him/her more and God does not love me;He/she has a more successful career than me,so God loves him/her more and God does not love me...both of these are irrational thought. God says he love us through the whole Bible, and he never changes. isn't it?It happens the same way in family relationship.What is pleasing to God is we live just as God's will and serve our spouse with our talent. Sacrifice and love can cover all sins.
#3 The one who loves himself can truly love his spouse.
1 Cor 11 11-12: Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.
we can see that everyone isn't created for himself, but only when we find the preciousness of ourselves,can we cherish our spouse and respect him/her,because we know that he/she is also created by God and is the gift from God.
So our mind should not comform to the pattern of this world any more,but should be renewed by Holy Spirit day by day.